Day 9: No Words, Just Tears

Today has been a day of many tears. A little less than two months ago I lost my dad. Today’s date does not hold any significance that would trigger more emotions and tears than usual. But today I have struggled to keep the tears from flowing, the sobs from being heard, and my heart from feeling heavy.

My dad fought cancer for 17 1/2 years, and every time the doctor told us the lymph nodes had grown and we need to do chemo again, there was a heaviness in our heart. After 8, 10, 12, 16 weeks of treatment, we would get the news that the lymph nodes had shrunk and he is all good. The heaviness was replaced with relief.

Since January 13th, I have had the heaviness in my heart, but I know the relief will never come again. Now there is only emptiness.

8 thoughts on “Day 9: No Words, Just Tears

  1. There will be good days filled with memories that make you smile and laugh, and there will be terrible days filled with emptiness and sorrow. Allow yourself time to grieve and cry and talk about him whenever needed. Sending you a virtual hug today, FRIEND, oh and f**k cancer!

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  2. I am sorry for your loss – I know that the tears will come at different times, unexpectedly and expectedly. 17 1/2 years is a LONG time to fight. I’m glad that he made it as long as he did. I’m sorry that he cannot fight any longer. Hugs to you.

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  3. I hope you can find some solace in writing about your loss. There will be heaviness and emptiness, always. That’s the way it is with those who love deeply. With time, hopefully, some acceptance will accompany your emptiness. For now, let yourself grieve.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. You never know why the sadness will hit you – grief is a very difficult thing to understand and control. As long as you have people to support you, you can make it through. Thank you being so vulnerable with your slice today

    Liked by 1 person

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