Day 21: One Minute . . . One Lifetime

This was my post from last year. I updated it, but many of the feelings and thoughts remain the same:

One minute I am teaching my 6th graders writing; the next minute the school secretary comes into my classroom to tell me my husband is on the phone.

One minute I am annoyed because a kid got sick and he can’t leave work to get them; the next minute I remember Wednesdays are his day off.

One minute the secretary says, “He tried texting you. Should I tell him you will call him back?”; the next minute I walk over to my desk to check my phone.

One minute the text doesn’t make sense at all; the next minute I am walking to the office to talk to him on the phone.

One minute he is telling me that her iron is fine, but her blood sugar is high; the next minute the room is spinning and I am asking him, “What does this mean for my girl?”

One minute he is saying, “She has diabetes. I am at the hospital. I need you to come here now.”; the next minute I am trying to keep it together to get to my room and grab my purse, coat, and car keys.

One Lifetime of checking her blood sugar before she eats (most days it through her monitor, but at times it is by poking her finger).

One lifetime of constantly checking the monitor.

One lifetime of hearing the alarm and wondering how can we bring her sugar levels to a normal range, or how much sugar/carbs can she have to raise her to a normal range so we aren’t combating a high right after we fought a low.

One lifetime of feeling “jittery” (low) or thirsty, angry, tired (high) because she has to think like a pancreas, instead of a 12 year-old.

One lifetime of sleepless nights.

One lifetime of checking blood sugar, before meals, after meals, before exercise, during exercise, after exercise, before a snack, and before getting on the bus.

One lifetime of insulin shots – one after each meal and one at bedtime.

One lifetime of constant worry. Why are you sleeping so much? Why are you so hungry? Do you feel warm? Have you checked your ketones? Are you feeling “weird”?

One lifetime of being brave and strong even when you are only 10 years and 9 days old.

Two years later . . .

I refuse to let March 21st be the worst day of her life forever, so last year I took a personal day and we did what my sweet girl wanted to do.

We spent the day getting our nails done, going out to eat, and shopping! This year, things are a little different. This year we are staying home, working on Greek School homework, and trying to stay healthy while keeping others safe.

I will celebrate how brave and strong she is by remembering when she lashes out that she is just as tired of this as I am. I will remember that when she rolls her eyes at my third request to check her number, that she is just trying to be a kid, but Type 1 Diabetes won’t allow it. When I ask her if she has given herself her shot and she says, “Not yet,” that I won’t insist she do it right now, that I can let her finish her game first.

I will remind her what a strong, brave, smart, beautiful girl she is, even though at times she has to be a pancreas!

Day 20: Time is Odd

How does time pass? It’s odd to me!

Just a week ago, I was with my students, teaching.

Just a week ago, I was working on the next week’s lesson plans.

Just a week ago, I got an email saying school is cancelled through April 6th.

Just a week ago, it felt strange leaving school and heading into the unknown.

Just a week ago, I was stressing over having 40 people at the house for a birthday party.

Just a week ago, I was talking about summer plans.

Just a week ago, I was almost looking forward to the time to work from home and get stuff done around the house that would normally not get done.

Just a week ago, I told my mom, “See you tomorrow.”

It’s been a week since I have been with my students.

It’s been a week of planning e-learning for my students and checking in with them.

It’s been a week since I have had social interaction with anyone other than my husband and kids.

It’s been a week of hoping that we can get to the neighborhood pool this summer (and wondering if I should even buy a pool pass this year).

It’s been a week since I have been home and nothing has gotten done.

It’s been a week since I have seen my mom, my sisters, my nieces, and nephew. We are a close family and this is the most difficult part of all of this for my kids and me!

Day 19: Planning for Normalcy

The days are moving slowly along! When I ask for time to slow down, I don’t mean in the time of uncertainty. I want time to slow down when we are celebrating, laughing, and loving life together.

As I am looking to organize a little, I usually start with things that don’t really matter (don’t ask me why, I just do). So I started with the notes, schedules, pictures clipped to the refrigerator. Both of my boys made their high school volleyball teams just a few weeks ago. Their volleyball schedule is on the refrigerator. My oldest, John, was excited to make the team and doesn’t mind the practices, so he has been marking off each day it passes. My freshman, Andrew, although excited to make the team, was dreading practices during spring break, so as soon as school was cancelled, he crossed off the two weeks of cancellation and spring break.

“Could I throw out the March schedule?”

“No! As of right now school is cancelled until March 30th. March has 31 days,” John stated. “Oh and can you call to make an appointment for the orthodontist?”

“Um, not sure they are taking patients right now.”

“Just call and see.”

“OK. As of now, April 6th is the earliest they can see patients. They will let us know if they have to postpone it.”

“Can you call for haircuts, too?”

My kids are thinking, hoping, that normalcy will return soon. I am too, kids! I am too!

Day 18: Dinner

During the school year there are many nights that I get home after the kids and Pete have eaten dinner. With social distancing, comes homemade dinners made by me, eaten with me, and cleanup is a family activity.

As my kids grow older, their appetites grow larger, and the amount of food that I would make in the past would be enough for dinner for two nights. I was hoping it would be enough for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch. Their appetites didn’t agree!

So tomorrow’s dinner is already planned. It just needs to be made. . . . AGAIN!!!

Day 17: Checklist? What Checklist?

On Friday I wrote a checklist of what I need to get completed while home. Well, I never took that checklist out of my bag because on Friday my bag went straight to the closet since I was preparing for a birthday party. I have been online checking in on my students and families through email and answering any questions they have about the work given to them. Today I needed to get the math packet assigned to answer a question for a student. As I pulled the packet out of my bag, the checklist stayed put.

Last night I was texting with a teacher in my children’s district and I shared with her how I had created a checklist with all the things I wanted to get complete and she said she had one too but got nothing done other than worry about the Coronavirus. I offered to text her in the morning to motivate her and myself to get something checked off our lists.

At 6:15 pm I texted her an apology for not reaching out to her to motivate her (and myself). I admitted that I did NOTHING today other than be online. She said her major accomplishments today was that she showered and got dressed. She two-upped me as I stuck my greasy hair in a ponytail and sat in my pajamas all day.

She was a genius! I decided that I need to get up and pretend like I am going to work (shower, get dressed, get ready for the day ahead of me, even if I will be home bound). Our last text was agreeing to send a before picture of what we are going to work on and then an after picture once done!

I am hoping this will motivate me to find that checklist!

Day 16: Under Scheduled is NOT a Bad Thing

When my kids were little, my sister would ask me what activities are the kids doing. I told her that they are in T-ball, and later baseball and Tessie liked gymnastics. Since she had her three kids in multiple activities each, she felt like my one activity per kid was detrimental to them and their socialization (or so her tone and disapproving look said). I never scheduled lots of play dates for my kids. They spent many days playing with their cousins, their siblings, or alone.

Well, here we are. Kids are grown (12, 15, and 16)! When many parents are freaking out about what can they do with their kids these next few weeks because things are cancelled and places are closed, my kids, who have been under-scheduled ALL their life (including now), and I are taking a lunch break from our E-Learning and playing volleyball WITH A BALLOON from Tessie’s party! They aren’t whining, “There’s nothing to do!” or “I’m bored!”

So under-scheduling isn’t such a bad thing because they are used to unstructured down time and figuring it out on their own OR could it be that they aren’t complaining because they have seen my “Things to Do” list and they don’t want me to put them to work?

Day 15: Various Thoughts

  • As my kids woke up at noon today – Day 1 of “Social Distancing”, John asked what our plans are for today. I looked him dead on and said, “These next few weeks I will take you driving to fulfill your practice hours, you can read a book, we will deep clean EVERY room in the house, you will do your e-learning while I am working with my students for e-learning, you can play video games, you can play inside or outside with your siblings, and you can eat, shit, and sleep. My goal is to keep you all as healthy as possible, not to entertain you.”
  • To my friends through text: “I would have loved to meet you girls for a last coffee night before the restaurants close. I just wish I knew this before I told my kids that we weren’t going anywhere for the next few weeks. Sorry.”
  • I really need to think things through before I speak.
  • There really isn’t anything to eat in the house (as I open the refrigerator and leftover food from yesterdays party is falling out).
  • UGH! They are closing restaurants! Pete will be so stressed out when he comes home from the restaurant.
  • It’s Sunday but I am not feeling the stress of Monday’s workday.
  • “Guys no school tomorrow!! You get one more day to sleep in late, but I need to be online by 8:30.”
  • It feels odd that the superintendent is calling ME to talk to ME about next steps. Dude, you know better than I do what needs to get done, but sure I can give you my thoughts.”
  • “I am going to Jewel. Who wants to come with me?”
  • It’s been a long time since I have gone grocery shopping with all three kids. I remember why. “Stop fighting because I will find a blind spot in the security cameras and I will beat all three of you!” They all start to laugh.
  • “Even though we just spent $500, I don’t feel like cooking. What do you want from McDonald’s?”
  • Day 1 wasn’t so bad. Twenty more days to go . . .

Day 14: Extra

Today was Tessie’s Birthday Party! She has been called “EXTRA” by my nieces because she always goes above and beyond, and today was no exception!

Since this was her Golden Birthday she wanted gold decorations. Gold fringe to cover the entrance to the sunroom from the family room, gold tassels hanging on the fireplace, a gold banner that says “Celebrate” hanging in the foyer, balloons with gold dots, gold silverware, and even a string of gold lights on the staircase.

We had some unfortunate things to deal with . . . the cake said “Happy Birthday Pessie” so we had to change the P to T without ruining the cake or the frosting, my mom had a runny nose (she was 98% sure it’s just allergies but didn’t want to take the chance that it was something more and she would get the kids sick), some of our guests couldn’t make it because the kids had an upset stomach and another had a fever, but we plan on getting together once everyone is feeling better and social distancing is no longer necessary.

A wonderful day celebrating my sweet girl!

Day 13: Checklist

The email came today and within an hour I started writing my checklist of what will get accomplished in the next 3 weeks.

To Be Completed by April 6th

  • clean out dresser drawers
  • clean out closets
  • redo office
  • clean out basement
  • grade papers
  • make appointments for annual physicals in June
  • complete lesson plans for first week back
  • donate clothes
  • get sticker renewed for car
  • take John out for driving practice

And that was what popped into my head the first 10 minutes. I am REALLY HOPING that something will be crossed off the list!

If not, there is another checklist that will be written on April 5th:

To Be Completed by August 10th

Day 12: The Golden Age

Tessie is 12! On the 12th! It is her Golden Birthday! Last night we discussed what we should do for her birthday since we are having a party in Saturday. I suggested we go next week Monday or Tuesday. Tessie said, “Well my birthday is tomorrow, not Monday or Tuesday.” So tonight we went to Wildfire for Tessie’s birthday!

Bison meatballs for appetizers, blue cheese crusted filet medallions for dinner, and a Chocolate molten lava cake and vanilla ice cream for dessert! She told me how her friends decorated her locker and bought her gifts.

The smile on her face put a smile on my face! Wishing you a hundred more happy and healthy birthdays my girl!