Tessa’s 11th birthday party was today. Since her dad and her two brothers are gone for a basketball tournament she thought this would be a perfect weekend for her party with her friends.

Two years ago she wanted her party to last a long time like a sleepover but without sleeping over. So, 3:00 – 10:00 pm it was. Well, by 4:30 she was asking me how much longer until they leave, and rolled her eyes at their behavior. Her friends were being loud, obnoxious, running around, talking with their mouths full of food, and overall just annoying her. Although not an only child, being the only girl gives her the liberty to have company when she wants it, but taking time for herself when desired. So having 10 girls over really took away the freedoms she was used to.

This year we were trying to figure out the timeline for the party. Greek School ends at 2:00 pm so we would meet at Board and Brush from 3:00-5:00, pizza at 5:30, cake and presents to follow, and then some time to play, so pick up at 8:00. Tessa looked at me like I was crazy! “Um, we don’t need them here that long. Seven o’clock should be plenty of time.” Well, when the time came for them to leave she wished she had a few more minutes.

I turned to her and said, “When you have a good group of friends there is never enough time together. Think about who you invited two years ago and who you invited this year.” A few girls overlapped, but the ones invited are the ones that have similar personalities. They know how to have fun while still being respectful. “Your birthday present was this little Life Lesson. You’re welcome!”

She rolled her eyes at me and said, “You are always right, Mama.”

Happy Birthday, My Girl!

• 

“Tessie, you have everything you need with you before we leave Yiayia’s house?”

“Yes! I already told you everything is packed up.”

It has been a long day. Awake at 6:00 am to get boys ready for their trip to Detroit for their basketball tournament, get Tessie ready for school, at work for a second day of Parent-Teacher Conferences, then off to my mom’s to do some paperwork, and out the door at 10:00 pm for the 45-minute drive. I walk in the door and ask Tessie, “Are you making the frosting now or do you want me to wake you up before Greek School?”

“No, I will do it now. I am not that tired.”

“Well, I am going to bed so I don’t fall asleep on the couch.”

At 11:15 pm I hear, “Um, great! I don’t have any butter for my frosting.” Then the foot steps up the stairs and into my room. “Um, great! I don’t have any butter for my frosting.” Then the look of Please don’t explode. Please don’t lecture me. Please offer to drive me to get butter.

“Let’s go!”

Corner gas station. NO BUTTER! 24-Hour Walgreens. NO BUTTER! Jewel. BUTTER! And Coke and French onion dip and Ruffles.

“Thank you.”

“Yup.” It was all I could say to keep from exploding and from going into an hour long lecture of how tired I am and this is why I hate baking and why it is so important to be prepared and . . . . .

Emails go home, handouts go home, reminders go home about conference times. Yet, people still show up 20 minutes late and want their full half hour. Unfortunately, I am on a schedule and I need to have common courtesy for the parents that scheduled a time that works for them and showed up on time (and in some cases a few minutes early).

I say everything that needs to be said in the 10 minute window given to me and then I stand up, say goodnight, and begin walking to the door. They decide to keep sitting, talk to their child about the report I just gave. Thoughts run through my head . . . Are you seriously that oblivious to the fact that there is a family waiting outside for their conference? You do realize that YOU were late, not me! Well, I can be just as rude as you are being.

“Hi! Thanks for coming.”

“Do you need more time with the parent that is in your room still?”

“No, our conference is finished and now it is your scheduled time.” I walk into the room with my next conference. “Sorry, but it’s their conference time and they have another appointment after me and I don’t want to be inconsiderate of their time.”

The parent looks at me, “OK. Sorry.”

Just asking for some common courtesy, for others and for everyone’s time!

“Get in line so we can go in. The bell just rang. Fourth grade, we will start with you. Mr. McTeague’s class head on in.” I continued to let in the other fourth grade, the two fifth grades, and then I got to sixth grade. “OK. Mrs. Ebeling’s group, go on in.”

“Why are we always last? It’s because you don’t want us in your class, isn’t it?” asked the last student in line (one of my challenging students) even though there were only four students in line at the time, three of which don’t ever cause problems.

Oh great! Our day is already starting with the questioning and combative behavior. “Well, our lockers are closest to the door, so I always let the classes furthest away in first. Besides, have you ever heard the saying, ‘save the best for last’?” I smiled at him as I said these words.

As we walked in, I stopped to let him go in front of me. He turned, smiled and said, “Ladies first.”

I smiled back at him, “Thank you! Even though you only did that so you can be last and be the BEST! I saw what you did there.”

He laughed and so did I – hopefully it will be a good day after all.

ELEVEN YEARS OLD! My baby is 11!

I did not find out the sex of any of my three children, so I remember going to work one morning and a coworker asked if my husband and I chose a name for the baby yet. Greek tradition is to name the first boy/girl after the husband’s parents and the 2nd of either gender is named after the wife’s parents. My boys are named after my father-in-law (John) and my dad (Andrew). So I explained to her that if it is a girl, we will name her Athanasia after my mother-in-law and if it’s a boy it will be Alex because we like that name. My coworker was aghast and said, “The boys have such special meaning to their names, you need to have a special name for the 3rd one too.”

Then the stress began because everything about this pregnancy was just like the first two, so I knew it was a boy. I even told my husband, “I hate that this one is a boy because everyone will think we found out even though we didn’t.”

Delivery was quick and easy. My mom was in the delivery room, as she was for the other two, and when she saw it was a girl, she thought to herself, Don’t say anything in case you saw wrong. Let the doctor make the announcement. Once the doctor told us it’s a girl, we called my sisters. As soon as they saw it was Pete calling they asked, “How big is he?” Imagine their surprise when he told them that HE is a SHE!

And from that moment on my beautiful girl has kept us on our toes. She loves her brothers with all her heart; she threatens me that my ranking is falling to 100 when I don’t let her have her way and announces that “Daddy is #1!”, but in the same breath asks when will I get home from work because she misses me so much. We snuggle, we bake, we read together, and we watch baking shows.

She is my best little girl, my best little friend, she is the light in all of our lives! Tonight we celebrated her by going to Wildfire and enjoying steaks and cake! Happy 11th Birthday my Sweet Beautiful Tessa!

“I am almost caught up with my grading. I only have 2 sets of math packets and my Character Analysis essays to grade.”

My teaching partner looked at me and replied with a laugh, “Well, I am glad you feel almost caught up with your grading because I have those exact things to grade and I am feeling overwhelmed and behind.”

This exchange brought me back about 17 years . . .

Being single and living at home, with a new job teaching 4th grade. My friends would call me to go out and I would have to decline because I was “busy”. Once I got engaged and had to plan a wedding while working full-time, I would roll my eyes (over the phone) when my single friends would say they were busy. Well when I had my first child, I laughed at myself and thought, I thought I was busy before, but now I seriously don’t have time to go to the bathroom. Fast forward to 2018, three kids, a husband, a house, full-time teaching job, kids in sports, taking classes, and heading to the hospital or my parents’ house after work to help out. There were days where I would still meet for coffee at 9:30 pm after all of that, but the days I couldn’t I never said “I was busy” I would just say “I can’t” or “I already have plans”.

So in 2019, instead of thinking of how busy I am and how much I have to get done, I am going to think to myself, Let me get working on checking something off my checklist. Perspective!

I lost an hour today! Not just because of the time change, but because my body needed that hour of sleep so I slept for an additional hour after I “woke up”.

I had planned on grading 60 math packets, 30 Character Analysis essays, doing about 7 loads of laundry, cleaning the kitchen and family room (I am leaving the bedrooms for another day), writing Thank You cards for those that came to my dad’s wake/funeral, and writing my Slice of Life.

But the hour lost, stole that time from me to get all that accomplished. I know it seems like a lot of stuff to get done in a short amount of time, but it would have gotten done if I had that hour back.

I know I will get the hour back in November, but by then I plan on having my life organized enough that I won’t need it!

Today has been a day of many tears. A little less than two months ago I lost my dad. Today’s date does not hold any significance that would trigger more emotions and tears than usual. But today I have struggled to keep the tears from flowing, the sobs from being heard, and my heart from feeling heavy.

My dad fought cancer for 17 1/2 years, and every time the doctor told us the lymph nodes had grown and we need to do chemo again, there was a heaviness in our heart. After 8, 10, 12, 16 weeks of treatment, we would get the news that the lymph nodes had shrunk and he is all good. The heaviness was replaced with relief.

Since January 13th, I have had the heaviness in my heart, but I know the relief will never come again. Now there is only emptiness.

Date Nights are a rarity when you have three kids. Not for myself and my husband. We get date nights when the kids are sleeping over at Yiayia’s (grandma’s) house, or having a cousin sleepover, or when my nephew or niece are willing to hang out with their cousins for a few hours.

But date night with my oldest is rare. Usually the two boys are hanging out with Pete watching a game and eating pizza or wings while I hang out with Tessa at Panera’s or at home snuggling on the couch. Or I have both boys while Pete is spending some daddy/daughter time together. Having the two boys so close in age (14 months apart), they are usually together.

Tonight Andrew is at a friend’s birthday party and Tessa did not want to go to Tuscan Tavern (she prefers Panera’s), so John asked if he could use his Christmas present from 2017 – a coupon for a date night. We headed out leaving Pete and Tessa behind, dropped off Andrew at the birthday party, and headed for our Italian dinner.

We enjoyed every minute together! We were talking about school (his and mine) and sharing funny stories that I passed up the restaurant. Once I found my way through the residential streets and back to the restaurant, we sat and talked about anything that he wanted to, without interruptions, and without having to fight or wait for my attention.

I love my John Boy and his wonderful sense of humor! I love that he left two forkfuls of food and said, “Well I don’t want to look like a pig.” When the waitress came by to pick up our dishes, John asked, “Could I take mine to go? And could we see the dessert menu?”

“Seriously? You have two bites left. You are going to take it home for tomorrow?” I asked.

“Tomorrow? No I am going to eat it when I get home. I told you I didn’t want to look like a pig.”

I told him I would like to get Tiramisu for dessert and he replied, “Mom, you can get whatever you want. I am getting the chocolate cake.” At 7:34 pm the waitress placed the dessert on the table and he took a picture of it to send to my sisters and his cousins. I then sent a 2nd picture at 7:36 pm.

He laughed, shrugged, and said, “I will be sure to leave two bites so I can eat it after the rest of my pasta. You know, I don’t want to look like a pig!”

We laughed the entire way home! I loved my date night! I love my John Boy!

Leaving for work this morning I tripped over my boys’ basketball shoes. I didn’t get upset about the fact that I tell them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. to put them away or at least to the side so I don’t kill myself and then they would have to bury me knowing that their laziness and their gym shoes killed me. I have told them the police would take their gym shoes because they would be considered a murder weapon. And they probably would never play basketball again because the guilt would eat at them . . .

YES! I go off on tangents and then spend time lecturing them!

But, today, I didn’t think about my death by size 11 basketball shoes, but instead how willing Pete and I are to spend $100 on each pair of basketball shoes for our kids because they “need” them, but yet I have needed work shoes for months but because they are not on sale, I have waited. I refuse to pay $89 for shoes that I will wear EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. to work and when I go out. I have told myself, “Spring is right around the corner and I won’t be wearing them since I will be wearing my sandals.”

As I was walking into school I got a text from Tessie, “Um, do you think we can go buy some new boots for school and church because mine don’t fit anymore. I have the Nordstrom tab open with some boots in the shopping bag.”

So although spring is right around the corner, I text back, “Sure. We can look at them tonight and decide which ones you want.”